21 Things I’ve Learned About Raising Boys

21 things I’ve learned about raising boys

As a young girl, I dreamed of being the mother of a daughter.  I dreamed of tea parties, tutus, pigtails and giggles. But then I gave birth to two boys.

While I cannot claim to be an expert on parenting, I can say that raising boys is not for the faint of heart. It’s messy and wild and fun – and for a woman — it’s absolutely foreign, sometimes terrifying, and occasionally gross. But above all, raising boys is an amazing adventure.

Here are 21 things I’ve learned over the past 11 years of raising boys. I’m sure all of you parents of boys can relate.

1. Boys have boundless energy.
2. Star Wars and LEGOS® go together like peanut butter and jelly.
3. There are three levels of pain: Pain, excruciating pain, and stepping on a LEGO.
4. Before potty training, stock up on essentials like paper towels, snacks and wine. Mostly wine.
5. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s too late.
6. Farts are funny; boys can laugh about farts for hours.
7. Anything can, and will, become a gun.
8. Boys like roughhousing.
9. LED-backlit HDTV do not like roughhousing.
10. It is expensive to replace a LED-backlit HDTV.
11. As soon as boys are physically capable of removing their clothing, they will.
12. “Where are your pants?” is a recurring question.
13. Bath time means water wars, soaked floors, and tons of dirty towels.
14. A paddle pool and a bar of soap can substitute for bath time.
15. Boys will draw gory battle scenes on every scrap of paper.
16. Hotel walls are not a substitute for paper.
17. Always buy the washable markers.
18. Boys have two volumes: Loud and louder.
19. A little boy’s voice is louder than 100 adults in a crowded restaurant.
20. A 6-year-old can inhale a man-sized breakfast and complain that he’s still hungry.
21. Mindcraft is an addiction.