Head spinning expert advice: “Don’t let your baby sleep too long, except when they’ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. Never wake a sleeping baby.”
Every new mom should read this and breathe a sigh of relief; every experienced mom should read this for a good giggle!
Exhausted mom to 5-month old twins, Ava Neyer of Ft Bragg, NC, read stacks of books about baby sleep. But nothing seemed to work for her twins — one a night owl and the other an early bird. Worse, the “experts” offered contradictory solutions.
Neyer’s frustrated rant on “expert” sleep advice (posted on Reddit on 4/20/13) confirms what I realized three years ago when I had Wren — If there was a book that actually worked, parenting would be a breeze and none of us would have any problems getting our children to sleep, eat, behave, potty train, {insert your issue here}.
Here are excerpts of Neyer’s brilliant essay:
You shouldn’t sleep train at all, before a year, before 6 months, or before 4 months, but if you wait too late, your baby will never be able to sleep without you. College-aged children never need to be nursed, rocked, helped to sleep, so don’t worry about any bad habits. Nursing, rocking, singing, swaddling, etc. to sleep are all bad habits and should be stopped immediately.
Naps should only be taken in the bed, never in a swing, carseat, stroller, or when worn. Letting them sleep in the carseat or swing will damage their skulls. If your baby has trouble falling asleep in the bed, put them in a swing, carseat, stroller, or wear them.
Put the baby in a nursery, bed in your room, in your bed. Co-sleeping is the best way to get sleep, except that it can kill your baby, so never ever do it. If your baby doesn’t die, you will need to bedshare until college.
Put them on their back to sleep, but don’t let them be on their backs too long or they will be developmentally delayed. Give them a pacifier to reduce SIDS. Be careful about pacifiers because they can cause nursing problems and stop your baby from sleeping soundly. If your baby sleeps too soundly, they’ll die of SIDS.
Don’t let your baby sleep too long, except when they’ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. Never wake a sleeping baby.
Have a set time per day when you put them to bed. Don’t watch the clock. Put them on a schedule. Scheduling will make your life impossible because they will constantly be thrown off of it and you will become a prisoner in your home.
Using the “Cry It Out” method (CIO) will make them think they’ve been abandoned and will be eaten by a lion shortly. It also causes brain damage. Not getting enough sleep will cause behavior and mental problems, so be sure to put them to sleep by any means necessary, especially CIO, which is the most effective form. Extinction CIO is cruel beyond belief and the only thing that truly works because parents are a distraction.
Be wary of night feeds. If you respond too quickly with food or comfort, your baby is manipulating you. Babies can’t manipulate. Babies older than six months can manipulate.
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean when the baby cleans. Don’t worry. Stress causes your baby stress and a stressed baby won’t sleep.
Sadly, you can find published sources to back almost every bit of that up. I can’t say that I’ve heard “clean when your baby cleans” yet, but I like it!
Photo Credit: istockphoto.com
