Guest Blog by Elise White
How Family Routines Help Child Development
Family routines make children feel secure and are a great opportunity for family bonding. Here are some tips for routine building.
It’s every parent’s dream to raise perfect children who do their homework as soon as they get home, help out around the house and don’t complain when it’s time for them to go to bed.
But of course, every parent knows that this is a fantasy and in the real world, kids need a little more coercing to do the normal things like brushing their teeth and taking a bath.
It’s not that the child is being deliberately disobedient; it’s just that usually they will have their own fun ideas of what they want to do next, and have yet to develop a full understanding of the negative consequences of things like not getting ready for school on time.
It is of course vital to the child’s development that they learn how to do things for themselves, as this will provide them with a sense of independence and self-confidence.
Research into Family Routines
A study by the Children’s Evaluation and Rehabilitation Center (CERC) found that out of 8,550 children surveyed, those who regularly engaged in more than three family bonding activities (such as bedtime stories and family dinners) had high social-emotional health.
Daily family bonding activities give children a sense of security, as they come to expect certain activities happening at certain times of the day.
It’s calming for the child to know that there’s consistency in their lives, and they will come to look forward to things like a bedtime story. Eventually they will know what is expected of them and will learn to do things, (hopefully) unprompted by you.
Sleep is Vital to Child Development
One of the biggest daily battles that many parents face with their children is getting them to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
A recent study looking at the amount of sleep teenagers get also found that a lack of shut-eye is linked to obesity, behavioral problems, depression and poor attainment in school.
As we all know, it’s hard to concentrate when you haven’t had enough sleep and many people will become irritable or crave sugary foods. Therefore, it is vital to ensure that your child is getting enough shut-eye.
The researchers recommend that:
- Children aged 3-5 sleep 11-13 hours a night
- Children aged 5-12 sleep 9-11 hours a night
- Teenagers sleep 8.5-9.5 hours a night
- Adults sleep 7-9 hours a night
Tips for getting children to bed on time
- Give children a sense of control over their bedtime routine by letting them pick out their bedtime story or pajamas. However, be clear how many story books you will read that night to avoid the ‘one more’ pleas from your child.
- Lower and soften your voice when you’re getting your child to go to sleep, much in the same way a hypnotherapist uses this tone of voice to get people to relax.
- Use lavender scented bath salts or potpourris around bedtime, as this calming scent will help your child unwind and feel sleepy.
Reducing Screen Time
With the number of children and teens owning smartphones ever-increasing, researchers from the Geisel School of Medicine in Dartmouth conducted an observational study on the effect of increased technology use in teens. They found that kids who had no restrictions on their amount of daily ‘screen time’ were reported to be unhappier and more likely to be obese than the children whose parents did monitor their technology use.
But it’s not just the children who need to watch their smartphone use. Another recent study from the American Academy of Pediatrics found that parents who spent a lot of time looking at their cell phones may be harming their child’s communication skills, as very young children look for face-to-face contact with their caregivers in order to learn language skills and pick up social clues.
It is therefore vital as a parent that when you’re routine building with your little ones, that you make sure that the contact you have with them in family bonding moments is completely uninterrupted. Monitoring your own smartphone use will also help them address their technology/life balance.
Tips for Family Routine Building in Your Home
- Think about what your child is capable of doing for herself when you’re trying to build a family routine, as this will help you free up time to spend on bonding. For example, if your 4 year old can dress herself, you can get on with making breakfast, giving you the chance to sit and eat it together.
- When introducing a morning routine, you may need to schedule in extra time for tasks during the first few weeks, as your child will need time to learn and adjust to the new responsibilities. For example, you can choose tomorrow’s outfit the evening before and leave it by their bed, so your child doesn’t have to choose what to wear if you’re in a rush to get to school.
- Start off small when setting routines for young children. For example, you may want to start off getting night time structured before you start planning out your mornings. This will give your child the space to adjust to the new way of doing things.
- According to experts, children from as young as four years old can undertake simple ‘chores’ around the house such as packing away their toys. To make chores more appealing to kids, there are many strategies to try such as inventing a game around the activity.
- Life happens, so make sure that you are flexible with your family routines when you need to be. Christmas Eve for instance might be a hard sell for bedtime as normal, as your child will likely be very excitable and may need some extra playtime before bed to burn off some energy.
- It may take your child a long time to get used to family routines, therefore you should always make the effort to reward them for their participation and praise them when they do something independently.
If you have any tips for building family routines, please share your thoughts below.
Elise White is a mom to be with an interest in child psychology. She has read widely on the subject in preparation for her little bundle of joy. If you’d like to connect with her you can find her at @Elise__White on Twitter.
Photo Credit: istockphoto.com
