Thanks to Skype, Facetime & an iPhone, this deployed AirForce Major was able to “be there” for the birth of his new son.
By Charlotte Bowman
When my brother, an officer in the Air Force, was deployed last fall, his expectant wife Rebekah asked if I would be her birthing coach in his place. I was delighted to be asked, but a little nervous. After all, my boys are 9 and 7, respectively, so it’s been awhile since I’ve been inside a labor & delivery ward.
Fortunately for me, this wasn’t Rebekah’s first baby. My primary job consisted of driving her to the hospital, holding an icepack to the back of her neck, and murmuring encouraging words when it came time to push. My secondary job consisted of keeping my brother informed of the baby’s progress via text, email and photos.
During the week that followed, I discovered something disturbing: There are several things about about childbirth and caring for a newborn that I never knew or somehow forgot!
Fast asleep in Mommy’s arms
I never knew how beautiful (and fast!) natural childbirth can be.
Both of my boys were delivered via caesarean, so I had no clue what to expect with a natural birth. Having delivered her first three babies naturally, Rebekah was fearless. She knew exactly what to do. When we arrived at the hospital her contractions were 5 minutes apart. Two hours and 30 minutes later, she quietly announced she was ready to deliver. The doctor, who had left the building, was called back. He arrived a mere two minutes before my nephew. No screaming. No agony. No angst. It was beautiful!
I forgot how low little sleep a nursing mama gets.
A full night’s sleep becomes a fond memory, especially when you are nursing a newborn. Rebekah tried to nap each day, but it was clear that exhaustion was setting in. With the help of Starbucks, I stayed up with baby Seth between the night feedings so she could get some much needed rest. I felt bad for waking her when the little man’s tummy was empty. But there is no such thing as sleep training a newborn!
Big brother and big sister are thrilled to have a new brother.
I forgot how difficult it is to juggle the needs of a newborn and older children (not to mention your own!)
As thrilled as they are to have a new brother, baby Seth’s older siblings (5, 3, and 20-months) are too young to fully understand why their mommy is so tired or why the baby cries so much.
Rebekah made a point to spend time playing with each of them while I minded the baby. But even with an extra set of hands, we both found the juggling difficult. While she took a shower, I stood in the kitchen rocking the baby and watching my dinner grow cold. I really wanted to eat, but I didn’t want to move for fear of waking the baby!
I was reminded how the days are long, but the years are short.
Gretchen Rubin is so right when she says, “The days are long, but the years are short.” Time seems to stand still when you have a newborn. Your world shrinks down to revolve around the care and feeding of the little one. The days run together and wear you down. But all too soon your baby is crawling, then walking, then running.
I’m so glad I had the opportunity to spend this week with my brother’s family. It vividly reminded me how fast the years fly by. In just a few days my oldest will celebrate another birthday. And I wonder, “How the heck is he 10 already?” I no longer have babies or toddlers in my house. And while part of me wishes I could go back and re-live my pregnancies, I want to enjoy every stage of this tedious, challenging, exhausting and delighful time of life called motherhood.
